The Spew Yawker
…..Think it!….Quip it!

Friday, October 18th , 2013

Life is better Twisted- Comme noisette comme un gâteau aux fruits

Imagine, you are fooling around this married person, morally depraved, but not illegal, of course. Note to self, never update your status on Facebook after having a carafe of red wine to wash down a serving of gourmet duck pate, an acquired taste for most people, indeed! Anyway, before you know it, this married person's marriage ends up in the crapper.

And there you are; yes, lucky you; there you are, the rescuer of inconvenience, ready to be the baby sitter and shyte eater of needs, absolutely not! The thing is, both people have different expectations, that is, yearning for the illusive knot that’s never going to happen or satisfying the thirst without having to buy the proverbial milking cow. 

Essentially, an inconsistency of commitment issues will always plague this double edged sword of a situation. Suffice to say, illicit lovers caught in the middle of messy or bitter divorces are subconsciously somehow associated with the resentment of the ended nuptials.

Look, I was fooling around with this married guy that made the occasional service calls, truth be told, I could not see myself beyond the sheets with him, and boy was he master of his domain. Nonetheless, I became addicted to his joy stick. He got divorced and I split because I had no intentions of becoming his surrogate ‘I don’t like being alone’. Moreover, let's say his questionable moral turpitude left a lot to be desired by my standards, something that pushed rolling in the hay faster down to sourville.

Listen, one of the things he told me when he got divorced was that it was not in his nature to  be monogamous and as God was his witness he would not get married again, not ever.

So a few years went by, and somehow he tracked me down and surprise, surprise, he was getting hitched to a woman just like me, he claimed.

She had brains and he was now into women with intelligence, compassion, and most importantly, a committed relationship. He was a man reformed, a born again moral being, and that meant no more Facehooking, hunting or womanizing. 

Obviously, he forgot whom he was talking to, as every second word out of his mouth was, 'his wife this' and his wife that' and I said to myself, "listen to this pucking low class braggart, who is he think he is fooling”