Recently I have been faced with having more and more discussions related to women over 40 wanting to have children. One such article was posted in a Facebook group recently and I made a one-sentence comment. On forums like Facebook, you try not to be too long winded, but some times your succinct comments may not put your thoughts in the proper context. When my comments may be considered to be too long, I opt to write a blog so I would like to use this opportunity to do so.
The topic of over 40 single successful women wanting children is quite sensitive to me, because of so many dear friends that find themselves feeling empty or incomplete as they approach middle age without experiencing biological motherhood. More power to those who were able to pull it off in their latter years, the following comments are not for you, but more so the females who are in their thirties right now thinking that they have the rest of their life to think about having a child, especially after hearing of women in their 50s and 60s, even of a 74 year old woman, that was able to have a child at the age of 69.
These days whenever I speak to successful single, childless females that are approaching 40 or are over 40; 9 times out of 10 they express the urgent desire of finding a man to have a child. This could be attributed to hormonal changes, "the all of a sudden" feeling maternal effect, wanting what others have or the natural call of their bodies. Some go as far as asking for donor sperm and others even desperate enough to pay for it, which is not much different from those having the money to pay for In Vitro Fertilization. I am pretty sure most of these females were "Rolling their Eyes" and "Kissing their Teeth" in their 20s - 30s as they rejected men who fell below their expectations, because he was not Mr. Perfect. In otherwords, he was nothing to write home about... Nothing worthy of bragging to to your peers. So what do they do instead? In most cases, I have observed them concentrating more on their beauty, body and their careers. So the question is... Did they inadvertently "Cut Off Their Nose To Spite Their Face?"
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cusp/201211/whats-the-best-age-have-baby
Is there an optimum age for women to have children?
This is the real question that this article poses. Every thing… Every season in life has an optimal time for something to occur. Isn't spring the optimal time to plant your seeds. However, the fact that you can still plant a seed outside of spring and it still manages to grow only proves the fact that life also have exceptions which prevail against the ordinary, but it doesn’t negate the fact that there is an optimal time and optimal age for everything.
My message to females would be not to procrastinate until it is too late. Yes love can conquer all, but no one (male or female) prefers to be all gray haired or at Grandma or Grandpa age as they wait for their baby to graduate High School, also especially not when you are supposed to be enjoying your retirement from working all your life. It is kind of unfair to put your mate through that in order to fulfill a desire you could have acted upon 10 or 20 years ago. Ladies that is a huge favor you are asking a male to grant you as he approaches retirement and middle age and often times it can lead to a breakup of what could have been a great relationship or (as some older folks prefer); companionship.
We should also bear in mind that even if you can pull off getting pregnant after the optimal time, the risk of miscarriage, health or complications of the mother, death and defects related to birth, all increase, as you get older. These are things that all females should be aware of and unfortunately a lot of them aren’t until it is too late.
Ladies, when you are in your prime (20s - 30s for having children), it is also unfortunately the prime time for you to choose your poison. Choose wisely...
Best Of Luck.