For the past few weekends I have hardly been at home. I still manage to do a little “tups” of gardening early Saturday mornings but for the rest of the weekend I am out on the open road (road trip).

This week I decided to spend 30minutes every evening giving my plants some TLC, plus I had some new plants and Ideas for both patios that I needed to get done before the end of the week. (super excited)

Last evening while preparing an orchid bed with Vandas

I began to reflect and my reflection took me to a place in my heart I stop visiting years ago. You know that place where you forgive, forget and move on, and you really no longer have a need for answers or you no longer have any questions you wish to be answered.

So there I was on my knees staking my beautiful Vanda and smiling at the thought of what my partners face will look like when he realized I had changed up the garden again and out the blue I GOT HIT.

Like bam bam WAKKA WAKKA wham in the face.

I got hit in the face with my own thoughts!

Many times we become victims of someone else’s bad experience.

Yes

Many times we become victims of someone else’s bad experience.

No one has the right to pass their pain down to you. Horrible things happen to others and instead of trying to heal they make you a victim. They stretch the truth a little and we don’t even see it coming. Whether emotionally, physically or mentally it happens and over time you begin to feel like you were the one who had that experience. When you are around them you walk on egg shells all the time, you change the flow of your life just to accommodate them and make them feel secur.  You have to watch your words so you don’t offend them all the time and every time they sink into that mood they always say they remember when that terrible thing had happened and you jump in reassuring them that you will ensure it doesn’t happen again. They tell you over and over you're the only one that understands them, well they have told a few others before you the same thing and will continue after your gone! This makes you feel even more guilty if your were considering calling it quits...

You keep doing this every time you try to have some fun!

*You must be batman or superman

Sit your A$$ down

(I hope somurray doesnt see this language.. whitles)

NOW , why did their nightmare become yours? Why do you have to put your life on hold for them, to ensure they don’t feel as if the “thing” that happened is happening again. They need to get over whatever happened and start a new page. This could be a close friend, a family, a lover or your better half; they need to get over it.

Let me tell you what will happen if they don’t.... Years pass.... You keep trying....NOTHING CHANGES!

You will spend your entire life trying to please someone who can never be pleased because that dark place they live in won’t be getting any light soon unless they decided to turn on their own light AND MOVE PASS IT.

SOME PEOPLE DONT WANT TO MOVE PASS IT!

They are quite comfortable with you changing everything about your life to please them and so they stay in that place. In the end your life and dreams disappear.

What are they doing for you? You walk around feeling depressed from someone else’s energy. Get back your spunk and your own energy. You don’t owe anyone  a damn I mean darn thing…

This is your life,

 that’s their life…

It’s okay to listen to friend, family, loved one who is at that place. It is okay to be a support system for them and help them get through that rough time they are experience BUT IT IS ABSOLUTLY NECESSARY FOR YOUR OWN GROWTH AND HAPPINESS THAT YOU DO NOT BECOME A VICTIM OF THEIR EXPERIENCE.
You got one shot at life, to live love and enjoy what it has to offer, dont become a victim of someones else's experience.