Born in Jamaica in the year 1981 to parents Iva and Vincent Hunter in little district called Lewis Store my childhood years are filled with fond memories. I began school at an early age since my mother was a teacher at Highgate Hall Age Primary in Highgate, St. Mary and I was drawn to music as my dad had a small sound system that would fill the air with Bob Marleys albums every Sunday evening after church. Successfully passing my Common Entrance Examination in 1992 I moved on to St. Mary High School then subsequently to Marymount Business College and pursued additional Business Courses. Read More...

On A Personal Note

I got up this morning with relationship matters on my mind. NO we are not in any disagreement but we had a really good discussion last night which is the norm for us. During the discussion we tried to identify reasons relationships fail excluding vanity and just considered behavior/attitude and touched on other areas as well.

I managed to put together a list:

1. Never create a situation of doubt if it can be prevented, you will run the risk of parallel insecurity.

2. We must never assume the other is okay or we run the risk of taking each other for granted.

3. Most people assume that their actions are accepted by their partners or should be accepted.

4. He said " I will continue to do the things that makes me happy but most importantly i will do the things that pleases you to make you happy". By doing this each person is responsible for their own happiness but at the same time we should do things that will add to the happiness of our partners life. You need to take full responsbibilty for your own happiness it is not yoru partners responsibility.

5. Both persons in a relationship should understand the responsibilities. It should be clear what each role is. Responsibilities mean the expectations of you, define the relationship and each tell what is the destination. The standards and values should aslo be discussed.

6. In a relationship you must be able to learn something from each other. It is in this learning process we get to understand more about the other person.

7. Persons who do not know who why are should not attempt to start a relationship. iI you do not know who you are you cannot share what you don't know about yourself with anyone else.

8. Meeting a compatible partner is the easy part, learning to live with the differences is the hard part but it boils down to one word " compromising".

9. We can all agree that communication is key and we demand it but how many of us are excellent communicators? Over time we say what we want when we feel like it. Other times we assume the other person should know us by now.

10. When in doubt, seek clarity.... Don't assume

11. Our greatest fear is to get hurt in a relationship and while it occurs there is no need to feel a non existing hurt before it occurs. We hold back and limit the full growth of the relationship fearing the end even when it is going great. Give each relationship a new start and let go of the past.

Discussions like this i always embrace as it challenges me mentally and the more in depth the discussion gets the more i learn a lot about my partner and he also learns a lot about me. Learning never stops in a relationship. I am grateful for him and love that with him I can be me always which works both ways. May we continue to strengthen each other.

Sometimes you need to just take a good look in the mirror and ask youself " Am I giving this relationship all that i got or am i just doing enough to keep it going?" The truth is that most of us get really comfortable after we have done a few months or years of service. Being in the other persons life was earned and we sit looking as if we are entitled to it. Work in a relationship never ends and that is why it is important that focus is kept on one person at a time, therefore ensuring that all your energy is spent ensuring that you both are on the same page at all times and that no one is taken for granted.

The best relationships are the ones where each person is allowed to maintain their own individuality while being in a relationship. ~ Dee Hunt

Have a great day!

from our Minds to your..

DISCUSSION I STARTED ON FACEBOOK

  • Flonia Brown am a loner
  • Dee Hunt still hope for you Flonia Brown. read the article and let me have a feedback if you can. Just a lovely discussion he and i had last night and certain things stood out. Let me know if it makes sense.
    1 hr · Like · 1
  • Flonia Brown @ AM READING DEE
    1 hr · Unlike · 1
  • Nads Coombs Love that its Always 100/100. Im just not a 50/50 Kinda Lady... Dee Hunt keep spreading the LoveJuice
    1 hr · Unlike · 2
  • Flonia Brown I AGREE WITH YOU 90 % CAUSE I HAVE TO KEEP 10 FOR MYSELF 5% TO DEAL WITH THE HURT AND 5% TO WALK AWAY. I GAVE IT ALL I GOT ONCE AND I HAVE LEARN. SO AM KEEPING 10 FOR ME TO FALL BACK ON
    1 hr · Unlike · 4
  • Nads Coombs Flonia I feel you hon, but that 10 you hold back is 10 more you can gain. Dont let someones elses mistakes alter you getting all you need from another. Stay alert and take care of you but still give your 100, after all you deserve it....
    1 hr · Edited · Unlike · 2
  • Karen NaturallybeautifulJamaican RaffingtonTavares Fifty-fifty! I support this view in every aspect 100% D. Support each other ideas, respect each others opinion share dreams and work with each other to realize them. For out of Respect , support and trust will come love!
    1 hr · Edited · Unlike · 2
  • Flonia Brown @nads still keeping my 10
    1 hr · Unlike · 3
  • Denise Clarke Michael I MUST SHARE!
    1 hr · Unlike · 2
  • Na Tawyah Fully agree with you Flonia Brown
    1 hr · Unlike · 2
  • Dee Hunt Lets keep the discussion going.. QUESTION: what is it is that 10% that you held back and refused to give is what caused the relationship to fail? your views please
    1 hr · Like · 1
  • Flonia Brown DEE ALL AM SAYING IS I HAD GIVEN 100% IN MY MARRIAGE BEFORE AND YET STILL MY NOW EX HUSBAND HAS A CHILD OLDER THAN THE TIME WE GOT DIVORCE. HE WAS THE PERFECT PERSON , YOU WASHING HE PINS UP , U IRON HE HANG UP HE REACH B4 YOU HE COOKS, GREAT , BUT YET STILL, DO THE MATHS, SO AM SAYING AM KEEPING MY TEN SO WHOEVER MAY COMES AGAIN WONT GET MY 10. SO TO BE FAIR UNTIL AM READY TO GIVE UP MY TEN AM STAYING PUT
    1 hr · Edited · Like · 2
  • Dee Hunt with that said i understand why you kept your ten and i cant blame you but QUESTION: is it fair to the new guy to be limited to only 90% when he is giving you 100%. Why is he being punished for your ex-husbands wrong doing? should he be given a clean slate on which to work with?
    1 hr · Like · 2
  • Nads Coombs Totally understand, Just dont hold on to that forever Flonia.. Life is too short. Release it so your 100 can come your way.
    1 hr · Edited · Unlike · 3
  • Flonia Brown @DEE THAT IS WHY I SAY UNTIL AM READY TO GIVE UP MY TEN AM STAYING PUT
    1 hr · Unlike · 3
  • Dee Hunt As humans it is our nature to hold on and compare at times. but don't we run the risk of having continuous failed relationships by doing that? LADIES AND GENTS... lets keep this going
    1 hr · Like · 2
  • Dee Hunt We fear the end of a relationship before it has even ended. we start exhibiting emotions of that sort at times even when we are in a great relationship. some say " I am truly happy but let me just not let this get to my head just in case it doesnt work out" WHY DO WE entertain those thoughts at times? why dont we just enjoy embrace, appreciate and LIVE?
    59 mins · Like · 2
  • Flonia Brown TRUST MI YOU FORGET EVEN FORGET BUT YOU STILL LOOK OUT
  • Nads Coombs Dee Hunt its harder for some of us depending on the level of hurt. Healing takes a lot and there are so many different avenues. We have to come to terms with it and let it go to move on. My first question to myself in every situation in always WHAT IF? And I use that to guide me, to help me put myself in the other persons shoe and what I would not want for myself I surely cannot give that back to them... #LIFELESSONS
  • Dee Hunt you guys are making some really good points.. love this. Nads Coombs while we heal why do we still go into relationships? Are we selfish? i mean we know we are hurt, damaged and not able to give it our all yet we entertain someone who is not aware of out inability to give 100%. How many of us tell the potential partner from the get go " i have been badlyhurt in the past and it is unfair for me to limit our full growth as i would not be able to give you 100% at this time".
     
  • Nads Coombs Dee Hunt Not many of us do that and thats why we should always in EVERY SITUATION ask ourselves that WHAT IF ? @ Flonia you are there and I commend you for saying that you will wait until youre ready, that speaks volume. Whats the rush? Some people have the fear of being alone but look at it this way ... You are technically alone if youre not giving or receiving your all.....
     
  • Dee Hunt awww sah i pulled and i pulled your feet and i am happy its coming out.. what would be your ideal relationship?
     
  • Flonia Brown @ NAD MAYBE ITS JUST MY TIME TO FIND ME, I CANT GIVE ANYONE ANY THING IF I GIVE MYSELF SPACE AND TIME . SOMETIMES ITS BEST TO BE ALONE AND REFLECT. MAKE NO SENSE RUNNING INTO A RELATIONSHIP IF YOU ARE NOT GOING TO PUT ALL YOUR ATTENTION IN IT. AND AM FINE WHERE AM AT, TRUST MI
     
  • Nads Coombs A God fearing relationship, A trusting relationship. Love grows with truth, affection ( LOTS AND LOTS IN MANY FORMS) , planning, being on the same team. Someone that loves me unconditionally, that stands up for me , that tells me when i mess up but loves me anyway, work it out and keep it moving. IS that too much to ask Dee Hunt ? LOL
     
  • Flonia Brown @ DEE MY IDEAL RELATIONSHIP IS JUST A GOD FEARING GREAT COMMUNICATION , SIMPLE LIFE, WHERE WE GO AND EAT BREAKFAST ON THE RIVER BANK WITH OUR FEET IN THE WATER , PLANT LITTLE GARDEN, FEEL FREE TO HANG OUT WITH OTHERS WITHOUT COMPLICATIONS, CAUSE AM NOT FUSSY, HAS LONG HAS MY BILLS ARE PAID AND I HAVE FOOD IN MY HOUSE AND FOOTBALL, SPORTS TO WATCH AM GOOD AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST HE MUST BE ABLE TO COOK. LOVE A MAN THAT CAN COOK.
     
  • Nads Coombs Flonia take your Journey sweetheart, I have been there. And I am here to tell you its the best thing you can do for yourself..... LOVE YOU FIRST BEFORE YOU CAN ANOTHER.
     
  • Dee Hunt NOPE you are very realistic in your definition of your ideal relationship. You kept it simple Nads Coombs
     
  • Dee Hunt WOW Flonia Brown simple it is indeed. Ladies do you think the men have a differnt view on relationships? Do you think that they feel that we want much more than what you just explained therefore they shy away from committing?
     
  • Flonia Brown @ DEE THATS WHERE COMMUNICATION DO THE TALKING, CAUSE ITS THE LITTLE THINGS THAT MAKES ME HAPPY
     
  • Nads Coombs I finally found someone or let me say we found each other that shares the same sentiments and that makes it EASY........ Relationships are only complicated when we are walking on two different roads... Dee Hunt #ITSNOTTHATCOMPLICATEDWHENYOUFINDTHERIGHTONE
     
  • Flonia Brown I LEARNTH TO APPRECIATE LIFE, A DAY AT A TIME SO A GOOD RELATIONSHIP COMES WITH COMMUNICATION , WORK AND THEN GROWTH,
     
  • Peta-Gaye Drackett Relationships can be so complex at times. What I have accepted over the years is to listen, respect and have fun. It's not perfect all year round, but it's an understanding driven by commitment and love. Influenced by dreams and careers.
     
  • Dee Hunt Well said Peta-Gaye Drackett. You say it can be so complexed, so do you think it is us that cause this complexity, our own idea of what a relationship wants verses what we expect taht causes this complexity. OR is it our selfishness; not willing to learn from each other?
     
  • Nads Coombs Complexity is the root of the problem. Turn that into Compromise and the results change.
     
  • Dee Hunt Flonia Brown almost everyone that i meet and have a discussion about relationship they say the word communication along with good and excellent. How many of us knows what the word mean? How many of us knows how to communicate? And how many of us are good at executing it? it has become a fancy word used in the initiation process that falls short down the road as we get comfortable communicating effectively is no longer important we begin to assume the other understands. Do an immediate evaluation of your self. do you think you are an excellent communicator?
     
  • I WILL CONTINUE TO UPDATE THE ARTICLE HERE AS THE DISCUSSION PROGRESSES

  Dee Hunt

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