It is always easier for some persons to play the role of the victim when expressing their setbacks. 

Question:- Why didn’t you do this or that? 
Reply: - Oh because this was not done so I could do this or that…

During a conversation I had with my mother last evening, I remember her telling me about how life was hard for one of her friends. This friend was one of 9 children; all from same parents. During her childhood years

their father left to live with another woman and ignored his previous responsibilities. This resulted in their mother being the sole bread winner but in the end the children became quite successfully. One a PHD graduate now lecturing overseas, One a well recognized Heart Surgeon (Joe), Another a teacher, one a nurse and mi no memba no more

So after a while their dad got ill and the wife kicked him out and they were the one who looked after him before they had migrated. He eventually died but was cared for until his passing. My mother said to me that their dad must have felt very bad when this happened to him and I agreed with her.

While we can relate to this situation as well as others there is another side we can look at these situations. When the father left this could have been what motivated his children to work hard to ensure that they make something of their lives. Yes It must have hurt to see their mother struggle daily. I had the same experience growing up without my dad; he was near but not there for me. I saw him but didnt really see him He once told me that the school shoes he was about to purchase would be the last one he would buy. He was wrong, I never allowed him to buy it but I worked during that summer and bought my own; now that was the last pair of school shoes I ever wore to high school.

In the end as much as it was a negative situation and hurtful situation it helped to motivate me throughout my entire life and in a similar way it pushed these 9 children and under the harsh circumstances they ensured success and accepted nothing less than success. I watched Joe on Profile and it brought me to tears how he struggled to become a Doctor. I said to my mom, maybe if he (their dad) had stayed the children may have just resorted to simple jobs and would not have felt motivated to excel much.

We never know.

So in the end when you are faced with situations you have a choice. You 
can either accept that it the end or you can start the process of making it your beginning.