Who is a soulmate? Why do we need a soulmate? Does the absence of our soulmate prevent us from realizing our full potential?  

In an article written by Dr. Carmen Harra from the Hoffington post she quoted  the American writer Richard Bach as stating "A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are." So what is it about a soulmate that makes us desire to have one and it slowly overtime becomes absolutely important for us to have. No matter how self driven, confident and successful or motivated you are in all other aspects of your life as humans we crave affection.  We like to belong and feel loved by someone who understands us on levels no one else can.

But is there really only one soulmate assigned to each of us?  What makes a couple who have dating for years then got married and starts their happy ever after only to divorce after a few years. So during courting they were soulmates. check .then time for marriage they were still soulmates check then something went wrong along the way and now they have become ex-soulmates? Isn't your soulmate suppose to last ever that’s why it is important to find one?  Why do we walk around claiming to search for something that quite possibly may not last but we walk around with the idea that when we find it we will make it last. I think searching for a soulmate is a waste of time. For me there is no such person. We form relationships and work our way from there. It takes effective communication and lots of understanding adding compromising to the list to take two imperfect persons with two different personalities to come together and make it work on all levels. It requires patience. Some persons want the end result without putting in all the necessary work. Even in couples who have similar personalities there will be differences.

Soulmate seems like a fancy word for searching for another possible mate that has more potential than the last one you had. This potential partner will no doubt be measured up to the last partner not taking into consideration that each person is different. If we should consider Mr. Bach idea of a soulmate it means that it is after we meet a potential mate and get to know them then and only then we feel comfortable enough to unleash our “truest” selves. Wow so then we pretend until we get to the point of comfort. There lies a big problem. Why do you need to wait to show your “truest selves”. Why cant you blow bubbles on your first date better yet pick your nostrils. Maybe this is the reason why so many persons are “soulmate-less” we hide behind a mask too long.

The next time you say you are searching for your soulmate be sure to "wear" yourself on that day. Be sure to show off "you" and not the one who pretends to be the ideal mate just so you don’t have to sleep alone at nights. Know what you want at all times. Know what your willing to compromise on and what you wont before you go out searching for your “soulmate’ or your next partner as I like to call it.

“I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.”  unknown

Soulmate searching?  Please think again…